See, I was raised to be gracious to the point of fault. To let other people win, to give other folks what they want. And, frankly, it just hasn’t served me well. At 32 I’m an unpaid intern in a situation that is unlikely to allow me to pivot into a paid position. In the club, since I’m not a student I’m disallowed from holding an Executive Board position. Mind you I work my ass off no matter what position I hold. I always have. Again, it was how I was raised.

The truth is, though, I’m fucking tired of working for nothing. Of working for a “someday” that just isn’t coming.

So I told these people “You know, I’d really like to actually profit from something that I do, at some point.”

And then I got in my car and drove home. Almost immediately I felt completely terrible. Not just for my loss of composure, but because I just feel bad about wanting to gain from the things I do. It’s like if I’m not operating completely altruistically I’m a bad person.

I keep thinking about the interview that Jason Reitman did on Fresh Air where he talked about his wife. Essentially his wife is perpetually disappointed by life because she expects too much. Not that she’s owed anything, but she expects a whole bunch from people and from life. He based one of the characters in “Up in the Air” on her. I’m terrified that that will be my life. It already has been to some extent. I’m not terribly stoked on the idea of another 30+ years of feeling like this.

Also, can I just say that getting turned down for a job that you were literally stooping to get is one of the worst feelings, not like cancer or the death of a loved one, but it still sucks.

I’d just like to be able to live a life where I don’t have to depend on other people. Where I can pay my bills, live in a place that isn’t an apartment, and pay to replace things when they break, or wear out. I’d like to have some t-shirts that aren’t hand-me-downs, and more than two pairs of pants. I’d like to be able to go to the doctor and the dentist. I’d like to be able to say “yes” when people invite me to go to dinner.

More than anything, I’d like to not be perpetually disappointed by my life.

But, I’d settle for a steady job that isn’t too soul-destroying.

Scratch that. I’d just settle for work that paid me above $9, my last declarable wage.

The logo that's giving me a reason to be.

Let me preface this entire post by saying two things.

I have no life.
I’m a sucker for fake points.

Now that’s out of the way, I can tell you that I’ve just completed my first full day of having “prestiged” on Modern Warfare 2. What’s that mean? Read on, and find out.

Modern Warfare 2, if you’ve been living under a rock for the past two months, is a first-person shooter game for PC, XBOX 360, and Playstation 3 consoles. It is the best-selling game in the history of the industry. The plot is rather unimportant for the purposes of this post, as the most important aspects of the game are included in the game’s title. It’s warfare, in a modern setting.

Amanda Bynes. I'm not fucking her tonight, nor are the kids screaming "faggot" and "nigger" in my ear getting disciplined on XBOX Live.

Basically, for an old-man like me anyway, you run around killing and being killed by 13-year olds while being called “faggot” and “nigger” the entire time. Ostensibly there are supposed to be controls for this sort of behavior, but as I’ve found out, the likelihood of someone actually seeing some consequences for their in-game conduct is about as likely as me fucking Amanda Bynes. Tonight. So, that’s the gist of the game and it’s mechanics.

So that brings us to “prestige,” or rather Prestige Mode (hereafter referred to as Prestige, because I’m seriously not going to type Mode again and again.) Essentially, after you gain rank all the way to lvl 70 (Commander, if you must know) you trade all that time, effort and child-killing in for a special icon next to your name, and the chance to do it all over again.

Sounds fun, right? Wait, where are you going?! Come back!

I know. Believe me, I know how this looks/reads/sounds. Pathetic, check. Time-consuming, check. Mind numbing and slightly maddening, double check.

So why did I do it? I’m a sucker for points. It doesn’t matter that I don’t actually get anything for them, I love them. I used to double-box World of Warcraft for this exact same reason. If you give me a task, attach a point-system to it and make the point system pay out rewards semi-regularly, I’m pretty much instantly hooked.

This is the precise reason I don’t gamble, by the way.

I know I’m not alone in this. Hell, the town in which I live survives solely because of this impulse. It’s the same driving force behind Farmville, too. And that’s supposedly a big deal. I wouldn’t know because I don’t have a Facebook account, but that’s what I recently heard from an uncle of mine (who’s in his late 60’s, BTW) who does, and is also a sucker for fake points.

And believe you, me, Modern Warfare 2 has fake points in spades. Aside from getting points for how much actual killing one does, there are specific tasks (and consequently rewards) for just about everything there is to do in the game. Up to and including falling to your death. Seriously.

So, after gaining rank up to Commander, I played about three rounds with my newly acquired AK-47 before the urge to keep going got the better of me, and after triple confirming my intention to give everything I’d gained away, I was off and running.

Maybe it is the confidence that Prestige gave me in-game, maybe it is because I’ve now logged enough hours in-game that not much surprises me any more, it could even be the headphones, but I’m playing better than I ever have. With WAY less gear to choose from.

In a day, I’ve been able to rank up from Private (lvl 1) up to Sergeant Major 1 (lvl 28) and have had a great time doing it! I’ve been able to max out my killstreaks (you get to do special things for killing several people without dying, the more you kill the better the reward) with alarming regularity, and have gained all important new titles to impress and confound my teammates and enemies alike.

This whole exercise, which I’ll not lie made me panic a little bit after seeing everything gone from my profile (despite multiple warnings,) has been remarkably pleasant.

I’ll likely rank someplace into the 30’s tomorrow.

In the meantime here’s the custom class I’ve used to do most of my levelling (almost exclusively Domination) in Prestige:

• FAMAS Assault Rifle
  • Red Dot/Holographic Sight (Sometimes an ACOG, too, but it’s rare) or Grenade Launcher
• SPAS-12 Shotgun
  • Grip Attachment
• Tactical Insertion
• Smoke Grenade
• Perk 1: Scavenger/Pro (lets me pop smoke pretty consistently or dish out the noobishness with the Grenade Launcher, and I never run out of ammo, even on the longest of killing-sprees)
• Perk 2: Stopping Power/Pro (increased damage is a good thing)
• Perk 3: Steady Aim (tighter groups when hip-firing the shotty) or Commando/Pro (increased melee speed and distance and with the Pro version no damage from falls)

This class is a good all around build and right at home in Domination. It combines the highest burst-fire weapon in the game with the ability to dish out solid damage at distance and up close. Also, it will allow you to remain effective throughout the round WITHOUT having to resort to battlefield-pickup should your ammo run dry.

A smiling goat, what else?

This isn’t really a newsworthy event that happened, or celebrity news, or anything all that interesting, actually. But it is the thing that’s made me say “WTF?!” in my head for at least a couple of weeks, so you’re getting it. I’ve avoided exploring my internal dialog, my head-noise, on this site for many reasons. Not the least of which is that it is mostly negative, and I think my level of negativity is unhealthy for me, and mostly boring for other people. Folks just don’t want to hear it/read it/be around it. I don’t blame them. Frankly, I don’t want to be involved with any of that, either; I don’t really get the luxury of choosing, though. Which is why I usually just keep it to myself, barring 140-character spurts on Twitter that tend to come infrequently. So, for the three of you who read the things I write on this site, I’ll say in advance: I’m sorry.

About five years ago, I walked out of the last job I had. I’d worked there for over a year, hadn’t received my benefits, or gotten a raise, and they’d let my one-year contract expire without even noticing. I thought I was walking in to a sweetheart gig with Dani where we were going to rework this retail business on behalf of our Small Business Management instructor from CSN. He just adored D and vaguely knew who I was (to this day he remembers her, but doesn’t recall me other than my association with her.) As soon as we got to the negotiating table the deal fell apart. I’d been talked up and had my confidence boosted enough that I actually believed that I could make a living doing the things I was doing anyway: fixing people’s computers and networks and generally consulting on all things tech. I had a couple of regular clients (ex-coworkers) who were looking to break away from my old employer and start their own business. I helped them outfit their home office and began getting them up to speed. They were completely horrible clients. Demanding, niggardly and with bad interpersonal skills. This was a pattern that would continue until late last year when I finally lost my last client.

This whole time I kept repeating to myself the mantra that was instilled in me during business classes “Fake it ‘till you make it.”

I’d figured that the people who had imparted this little tidbit to me knew something I didn’t, that they’d “been there done that” and had come out the other side of the crucible with some hard-fought knowledge. I was wrong.

To be clear: I have never faked any of my technical know-how or skill-set. I have the certifications and references to back all of that up. What I did fake was success, and the confidence that comes with it. That things were going well, and that I had plenty of (paying) clients. If you had asked me how “things were going,” I’d inevitably reply “AWESOME!” I’d then detail all the work that I wasn’t doing. I was faking it until I made it. I never did make it. I sure did do a bunch of faking it, though.

It doesn’t help matters that I’m a particularly good liar. I’ve had training in it, and I’ve even studied the program that the dude Tim Roth’s character on “Lie to Me” designed. I’m good at it. I’ve even built out a framework for a Social Engineering curriculum that will probably never see the light of day. So it was exceedingly easy for me to fake it. Maybe too easy. My understanding of this ethos is that people will see your “success” and be drawn to it. They’ll say to themselves “self, we need to work with this dude, he’s got this shit on LOCK!” But nearly without exception what happened to me was more along the lines of “wow, we totally can’t even afford to work with this guy, he’s just too damn good.” People were intimidated, and assumed (wrongly, I might add) that my fees were out of their budget. For the record, I’ve had the riot act read to me by several other consultants in this town for not charging enough for my time. I’ve also never turned a potential client away for not having the budget to do a project. But, because of faking it, people assumed that I didn’t need any help, any advice, any work, and went on their merry way. Which is certain death for a business relying on word-of-mouth advertising.

Which is why I have an application waiting to be processed at the local Nerd Herd. And why that, as of now-ish, I don’t even claim to have my own business. I’m just an unemployed (and potentially unemployable) dude who took some really bad advice and decided to “fake it until you make it.”

Want some unsolicited advice? ‘Cause you’re going to get some anyway. Don’t do this shit. Don’t be like me, don’t fake it.

Be honest about the struggles of breaking out on your own, of going rogue and staying there. People may get sick of hearing about it, but fuck them. It isn’t about them, it’s about you, and making you into a success. Not a fake one, either. A real, honest-to-blaaag, success.

Glamour-shot of X41's

This week I’m taking a bit of a detour away from my Tuesday topic of late, Google Wave. Instead I’ll be covering the latest bit of gear to grace my ever-so-cluttered desk: Turtle Beach X41 headphones.

My world is generally dominated by two things: acronyms and cable-runs. Seriously, if you took a look at my workspace you’d see enough criss-crossing lines to make Jackson Polack proud. Needless to say, I do my best to minimize adding to this mess, but I usually fail; it is simply, I’ve come to accept, the way of my world. That reality didn’t stop me from yearning for a high-quality set of wireless headphones. Now, I’ve had some sets of high-quality cans in the past, I did afterall record and produce a couple of records, and I’ve had some wireless headphones, too; never both at the same time.

My first experience with Turtle Beach was about a bazillion years ago (15, actually, but who’s counting, right?) with their Malibu sound card. I was turned on to the company by my buddy Cory Casciato who was making cool electronic music at the time and using the card as a sampler. As a wannabe Reznor myself, I was instantly in love with their gear. I used that card until I could no longer find a motherboard to support the ISA slot that the card required. It was the end of an era.

I’d lost track of Turtle Beach after that, the times being dominated by Creative’s Soundblaster series of cards, and me not really being involved in making music any longer. That all changed when I got hooked up with a Modern Warfare 2 special-edition XBOX 360 Elite. After running through the campaign mode twice I decided to jump into online play via XBOX-Live. I was summarily pwned is just about every way possible. I’m not really much of a FPS player, doubly so with a controller in hand, so I chalked it up to that, at least initially. I was fine with people being better than me, as this was my first foray into online multiplayer in the CoD series, and my first ever FPS with a controller instead of a Mouse/KB. But there seemed to be something else involved, it seemed that there was more to the equation than me and my flipper-hands not being able to aim, run, jump and shoot simultaneously. It was like other people had a sixth-sense about them, and that I was Tommy; deaf, dumb & blind. Then there was the issue of how irritating the sounds of the game were to Dani. The sounds of automatic gunfire, inbound harrier strikes and the blasts from and AC-130 are not conducive to rational thought, let alone peaceful sleep. Thus began my search for a set of headphones that would eliminate at least a few of my problems.

That search led me back to the promised land of Turtle Beach, and their flagship X41’s.

The headphones are honestly fucking amazing. They produce 7.1 surround sound thanks to their onboard Dolby PL II processor, take an optical SPDIF input AND standard RCA, they even have an auxiliary headphone output (with independent volume control) and SPDIF passthrough should you need to pipe sound out of the main unit/headphone rack into a secondary device.

Audio is crystal clear and has zero perceptible latency and the surround capability is truly a godsend, especially in a game where situational awareness is a must. You can hear footsteps, people reloading their weapons, even hitting the ground after a jump. Additionally, the headphones have an adjustable volume for in-game communications as well as an automatic gain that adjusts volume during loud, intense moments where you’d otherwise be fumbling for the inline volume. The built in, hugely adjustable microphone faithfully reproduces the users voice (for better or worse,) stays in place and can even be removed if not communicating in-game, and is sensitive enough to be used as a throat-mic if the user is so inclined.

The only two complaints I have about these cans are the price (which you can’t really do anything about) and the side effects of their voracious appetite for battery power. Supposedly they contain tech that will drain batteries to their last drop of power before going into their death-throws (more on that in a second,) and should last nearly 24 hours before needing replacement. Sadly, even with high-quality uber-alkalines I’ve not yet been able to achieve anything close to those kinds of times. The death-throws of the batteries are something else entirely. Something extremely painful, and potentially ear-damaging as well. When the batteries do go, they begin by making a popping noise that is akin to a hot-mic being plugged in to a mixer, that lasts for maybe two seconds before degenerating into a glass-through-a-cat-penis hissing/screech that would make an audiologist faint. Check out this video, and tell me if this is something appropriate to have blasted into your eardrum with little-to-no warning.

Seriously, right?! I’m not a doctor, but having spent years around loud amplification and screeching feedback, I’m sure that shit isn’t going to do your tinnitus any good. At all. The best part is that there is absolutely nothing that you can do about it. It will happen with frequency and will inevitably catch you by surprise in the middle of a firefight or sometihng else important.

Fortunately, I’m thinking that the solution to this issue is also the solution to their appetite: high-quality rechargable batteries. The only solution that I can see is to simply start each and every session with a freshly charged set of AAA’s and replace then if ANYTHING starts to sound funny at all. I’m currently testing this theory and will report if all goes well.

In short, barring some relatively minor problems these are the best headphones I’ve ever owned. Their ability to process surround sound makes them ideal for gaming, music, and movies. As long as you feed them properly they’ll be a long-term addition to your arsenal that you won’t regret.

Arliss Nancy—Dance to Forget 2009

Last week I mentioned a little bar in Fort Collins, Colorado named Surfside 7. This week I’m bringing you a pretty fantastic band from the Front Range who thought well enough about the bar to thank them in the liner notes of their debut record.

Arliss Nancy’s Dance to Forget is the best barroom record of 2009. There, I said it.

Dance to Forget is equal parts Bob Seger, early Old 97’s and indelible stamp of their CO contemporaries Drag the River; an eleven track, booze-fueled romp through heartache & lust, desperation & salvation. This is country-infused old-school rock music at it’s independently produced best.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m a sucker for songs about fighting, fucking, drinking and smoking, and this record delivers quality foot-stompers on this subject matter in SPADES. Much like my beloved Afghan Whigs this record sounds like a filthy one-night-stand. This is a soundtrack to a night of the kind of whisky-drinking fun that ought to come with bail money (it doesn’t, so feel free to call me instead.) This record is Trouble dished out in four minute increments; the kind of music that makes you want to make bad decisions, and smile the whole way down. For me, that’s love at first listen.

Though entirely listenable, there are a few standout tracks. “Blessings I Ain’t Never Had” with it’s Georgia Satellites-esque opening riff could easily find a home on any contemporary Country radio station, and groove-driven “Revelry for Beverly” is positively anthemic.

The best part? The band is giving the record away for FREE under a Creative Commons 3.0 license. Seriously, music this good for FREE?! This is too good to pass up, gang. So click here to download the album, and give it a listen. If you agree with me (which I’m pretty sure you will if you have taste someplace other than your mouth) head over to Death to False Hope Records and toss these cats a few bucks.

Then, this New Year’s Eve, put this record on and make some bad choices. You’ll thank me for the best night of your life when you call me for bail.

Today we’ll continue down the road to making Wave your next-generation communication tool of choice. We’ve already examined some of the basics to making the most out of your invitation, now we’re going to take our waves to the next level by extending the basic functionality of Google Wave. We’ll be doing this through extensions.

Wave’s extensions fall into two broad categories: Gadgets and Bots. Both do useful things within your waves, but go about it in different ways. To test these extensions, I recommend you start a new wave, with just you as a participant, that way you don’t annoy anybody or embarrass yourself while you’re figuring out these things!

Gadgets embed rich media within your replies. The most common examples are the two preinstalled gadgets: the yes/no/maybe gadget and the Google Maps gadget. You access these by clicking their respective buttons while creating or editing a blip (which is a fancy way of saying an individual reply or message within a wave.)

Yes/no/maybe is a quick, lightweight tool for getting a simple response from the participants on a single question. Think more “Do you want to come eat grilled cheese sandwiches?” or RSVP’s than “What would you like to eat? A…B…C…D…”  To embed yes/no/maybe in your blip, simply click the button that looks like a three-color traffic-light and type your question above the gadget. Note: for more advanced polling check out Wave-poll.

yes/no/maybe insert button

The Google Maps gadget is also preinstalled in Wave and allows participants to add “pins” marking locations to the map, just like on the full fledged app. However, what sets the gadget apart from http://maps.google.com is that all wave participants can add pins to the map, and all participants can see the points that have been added. Why is this useful? Well, say you’re setting up an office carpool. It would be trivial to add all of the rider info to the map gadget and then, at a glance be able to divvy up the pick-up schedule, determine who picked up whom, etc. Another would be lunch spots around town, as anyone participating in the wave could simply add their own pin. To add the map gadget, click the stick pin icon in the toolbar. Note: For a really cool implementation of this gadget, check out Trippy from Lonely Planet.

maps gadget insert button

We’ll cover advanced gadget-ing in next week’s post, for now, check out these four!

This bot is built to kill. (Currently unavailable in Wave)

Bots, unlike gadgets, are automated participants that you can add to your wave. If you are familiar with IRC this concept is nothing new. However for the uninitiated, it may be a little confusing. Essentially, each bot has a specific task, like the robots on a assembly line. On an assembly line, you have robots that weld, robots that twist bolts, and robots that hold things. Wave is no different, except here, we have bots that automatically clean up empty blips, automatically link to Wikipedia, and seek out Twitter accounts when a Twitter username is mentioned with an @ prefix. Let’s take a look at these examples.

Cleantxt manages formatting, spelling and basic grammar in blips. I’m of the opinion that this bot should be included in EVERY wave, but especially in any wave that is open to the public. To use Cleantxt, add cleantxt@appspot.com to your wave’s participants.

Wikify adds either links to entries in or inserts definitions from Wikipedia. To link to an entry simply type <wikify topic> and the link will be generated. To insert a definition type <wikidef topic> and the definition will be automagically inserted. To use Wikify, add wikifier@appspot.com to your wave’s participants.

Finally, there’s TwitUsernames. This bot auto-links to a Twitter profile when an @prefixed username is mentioned in a blip within your wave. To use Twitusernames add twitusernames@appspot.com to your participants.

There are myriad bots available for an idea of what’s out there take a look at this list. Chances are, if you have an automated task you’d like to see in your wave, there’s a bot for that.

Alright, A.5’ers, or should I say A.6’ers? Yeah, that’s right! You gained a point! You should be proud of yourself; I’m proud of you!

Until next week when we cover more advanced gadgets, Happy Waving!

mc chris goes to Hell

TRIUMPH! Thanks to the knowledge of the people I’m lucky enough to know, a musical conundrum that has plagued me for YEARS has been solved! I’d always assumed the band in question was Reno NV’s own Zoinks!, but had never been able to confirm. Now, however, thanks to the hard work of Twitter folks @lisaluluquinn @toastyhybrid & @steeve, I know that the song in question was, indeed, “Ugly Side” by Zoinks!

Zoinks! was an integral soundtrack to my mis-spent youth in shitty cars and circle-pits in peoples’ garages and VFW halls. Specifically, this track reminds me of my very close friend Nick Waldron and his shitty Chevy Celebrity sedan. Many, many road-trips were taken in a car that, really, shouldn’t have made it across town. So thanks, gang, for releasing me from feeling like I was crazy and making up lyrics to songs that were never written, and for letting me relive some extremely fond memories!

Now, on to what this post is actually about. It was pointed out to me last week that “Faintly Falling Ashes” is actually, vaguely, a Christmas song. And it is. I realized that I do kind of have a thing for odd, mildly fucked-up holiday songs. Thusly, a theme was born (a Christmahanukwanzaakah miracle!)

Today we’re going to take a quick listen to mc chris, geekcore rapper, voice of Hesh from Sealab and Mc Pee Pants from ATHF. Dude is funny as hell, does all his own production, has a verbal lexicon that could stand toe to toe with any mainstream MC (and consequently knock most of their dicks in the dirt) and is always down to kick it with his fans after the show. Circa 2008 this same cat pulled together over $25,000 for cystic fibrosis research. Dude is a badass, to say the least. He’s also a real independent musician as he’s not on any label and releases his tunes himself.

He’s probably best known (aside from his TV work) for “Fette’s Vette” a track about everyone’s favorite bounty hunter from a galaxy far, far away. A fine song, surely, but not what I consider his best work, nor what we’re going to listen to today. No, we’re going to listen to “Evergreen” from Eating’s Not Cheating. This is my kind of Christmas tune: drugs, mischief, backseat sex & witticisms.

If you dig this track, go here and buy some of his stuff! His thong will make your ass look better, promise!

Booze, it's what's for dinner!

For about the past ten years, in my world, Thursdays have been for drinking! This started when I lived in Fort Collins Colorado, at a little bar called Surfside 7. On Thursdays they held an event affectionately known as “Bad Beer Night;” $1 cans and $1 grenade bottles of Olympia. Surfside 7 was My Bar. I was beyond a regular, either saddling-up at the tiki-style bar, or holding court at the “Mafia Table” in the front window. In fact, I was there so often, left so much cash there, that on their second New year’s Eve, John (the owner) picked up the tab for me and my entire party, six people. Needless to say, I’m loyal to that bar like it’s family. When I’m in the FoCo, it is still the only place I’ll spend my money. It was because of this extra-special place that my propensity for Thursday night drinking began.

Recently, this tradition was revived by the Las Vegas chapter of Beer and Blog. As though it were ordained by Bob Dobbs himself, this group has regular meet-ups on Thursday nights and combines three of my favorite things: drinking, geeks and tech! Chances are, if it’s Thursday, you’ll know where to find me!

It’s in this spirit (zing!) that I present you, Dear Reader, with the inaugural edition of Thirsty Thursday, in which I’ll be presenting formulas and recipes for the drinks that help me properly lubricate the galas which I’m fortunate enough to attend.

Today’s drink: The Dani-rita.

History: The love-of-my-life is a notoriously picky/fussy eater and drinker. When I met her she ordered one of two drinks she liked: a Washington Apple or a Midori Sour. In addition to being Hellishly expensive to order at a bar (and that’s if the people who pass for “bartenders” in this town even know how to make a Washington Apple) most folks simply don’t keep the needed liquors at home. I know I don’t, and I keep a pretty well stocked bar. Also, I happen to live in a city that may as well have been built on the fucking Sun, so during Summer drinks need to be refreshing as well as intoxicating. These criteria make Margaritas and Daiquiris popular, but with a picky drinker who doesn’t like the taste of tequila, a lazy bartender (like me) who doesn’t necessarily want to break out the blender to make the bastardized version of Daiquiri that folks know and love, or worse yet an unpredictable stock of alcohol to work with at an unfamiliar place like a party, it pays to have a flexible framework for drink creation that yields similar-yet-predictable results. This is the reality that spawned the Dani-rita.

Framework: The beauty of this drink is that, barring a few essential ingredients, it is extremely flexible and accommodating. The prototype Dani-rita is as follows.

In a large tumbler, filled with ice, combine:

• 2oz. White Rum
• 1-1.5oz Peach Schnapps
• 1.5-2oz Sour Mix
• Fill with Lemon-Lime Soda

Just about any liquor can be substituted for the rum. I’ve made this drink with: gold rum, spiced rum, tequila, bourbon, Southern Comfort (which is extra badass with the peach schnapps) and plain or flavored vodka. Basically any hard liquor can be used as the basis for this drink. Additionally, the secondary alcohol can be any flavored cordial. Good possibilities are: any schnapps, Chambord, Amaretto or Frangelico. As long as the flavors of the primary alcohol and the secondary are complementary, you are good to go! For a drier, less-sweet, version of this drink you can swap out the lemon-lime soda for regular club-soda. Hell, you can use Mountain Dew or a carbonated energy drink, if that’s all that is available. The only component to this drink that you’ll likely need to provide yourself is the sour mix. However, please note that there is plenty of room for improvisation here, as well. When sour mix has been unavailable, I’ve used pre-mixed Margaritas (which also adds a fancy bonus-buzz) and Boone’s Farm malt liquor (ditto.)

This is a sure-fire crowd pleaser, especially for the ladies and picky drinkers. It contains plenty of the hard stuff, without tasting like anything other than punch. It has enough sugar to send the booze at hyper-speed into the blood, but it isn’t syrupy so you can drink them all night.

The best part of this framework is that you’ll be hard pressed to find yourself in a position where (as long as you bring your sour component) you’ll be unable to make some variation of this concoction!

Happy drinking, gang!